randomness again

being in love, loving someone, trying to love someone, trying to make someone fall in love, trying to keep the fire burning, trying not to kill each other, trying to maintain a balance, trying to make things work. things like that are tricky bits and pieces that we all hate to go through but can't live without i guess. the thought of whether you're making a mistake- by moving on with your life, by settling down with someone in marriage, by simply just not being with someone you still think about and love, by wondering if you should take that step to follow your dream, by telling yourself things will get better over time- is scary and very very tiring.

i often get a little more emo than usual and i blame it on pms (and the fact that it's so irregular, my emotional state usual gets more haywire than usual. or so i think). actually this pms shit drives me crazy coz i can't stand how confused i let myself get over nothing and everything. i'm honestly hoping it IS pms and not some part of me feeling the urge to stir some shit or throw some at the fan.

anywayz, i haven't been wakeboarding since my back broke but i figure i'm well and fine enough to hang on a pole so wakeboarding shouldn't be too bad, eh? i miss wakeboarding. no wonder i'm putting on weight. note to self: call val to make arrangements.

that silly 'communication' song is STILL stuck in my head and itunes.

been thinking of how i'm gonna market my future company and getting a little excited about it. let's see... just two more years and i'll be able (hopefully) to kickstart my dream of having my own wedding planning company. i'm thinking brochures, pictures, copywriting, letterheads and logos, namecards, name of company, and events that i can start doing to get my name out there. two years should be enough for me to finish up the ground work, save up, get contacts and get out there, rite?

methinks i should just concentrate on working hard and saving up and whatever should fall in place will fall in place.

on a sidenote, just between us *looks left and right* i looked through my roster and realised they missed out a coupla days! which means... more off days!! shhhh..... oh and i gave away a taipei flight (i promise you, banana bf, once you get there, i wun give away taipei flights!) for another london. hard work but.... YAY!!!! :p