technical lesson

how do u mend a broken glass and expect it to be clear, sparkly and without any cracks showing? you can't. but i guess you can use really really good glue - really really good glue, workmanship and enough time and effort for it to dry and stick properly- to make sure that at least it can still be functional. don't really need to be handled with too much care cos afterall, sad to say, it is already damaged so a little more cracks won't make a difference anymore.

what it means is that maybe, that's why i actually need to be somebody's "little woman" (direct translation lah). so at least i won't hurt anybody. in anycase, i guess the other part of me has been pretty conditioned to take shit that the rebel in me subconsciously give others shit. so to put it simply, i rather be abused and fight back (lovingly, of course) than to be tooooooo showered in love and start taking it for granted.

i'm not that great with confrontations or serious sit-down-and-let's-talk situations. sometimes i don't quite know how to find the words or expressions to match that particular situation and honestly, i find such awkward situations very very... nerve-wrecking. ya, it scares the shit out of me the way height scares the shit out of nicky or how balloons scare the shit outta louis... but i digress... (hur hur hur).

maybe that's why i usually avoid confrontations at all costs and acommodate accordingly. not that i allow myself to be stepped upon though, but sometimes it's just slightly easier. (of course if we're talking about irritating passengers or people in the service line or my pet peeve, custom officers, then obviously no way in hell would i allow them even have a tinge of rudeness lah)

i must admit that i have my moods too. yes, i'm actually human. sometimes i guess it's true what they say about taking the ones you're closest to for granted and only hurting the ones you love. sometimes the ones who really see the brute in me... sad to say... yes, my family and my bf.

so the bottomline is, don't be too nice to me (but if you're pris or any of the gang, please ignore the above and just remember that i'm god.)

anywayz, once again, still the sucker for pain, but i just rather that. i think they call it, fan jian. but we're all like that, no??