wishing..
sigh.... sometimes i think everything's alright, or gonna be alright, and then shit hits me in the face. i guess the bad habit of taking things easy for the past coupla years are starting to take its toll.
......
shit.. i dun even know what to say. i'm trying not to mop but i just feel like curling up and not go to work somedays. other days i wish i had 48 hours in a day so i can stop rushing... most days work consumes me so much, i go home just to sleep and shower. i dun think i can ever live without any communication tools... but sometimes i just wish technology and everything that lets people contact me just get incinerated. go away...
i wish i could go home sometimes and just not care about money, swipe my card without a thought, take a cab without having to worry about how i'm gonna pay for my next meal or next fucking flight. i wish... i dunno what i wish for anymore.
i wished for a life of adventure, challenge, fun, love, responsibility..
in a literal sort of way i am getting what i wished for... but in a twisted kinda way, i forgot to consider the price i have to pay.
sigh.. there we have people really suffering and dying and not even knowing if they'd live through the next min... here i am sobbing about my shit. but.. i'm only human.. we are still allowed to feel shit about ourselves rite?
......
shit.. i dun even know what to say. i'm trying not to mop but i just feel like curling up and not go to work somedays. other days i wish i had 48 hours in a day so i can stop rushing... most days work consumes me so much, i go home just to sleep and shower. i dun think i can ever live without any communication tools... but sometimes i just wish technology and everything that lets people contact me just get incinerated. go away...
i wish i could go home sometimes and just not care about money, swipe my card without a thought, take a cab without having to worry about how i'm gonna pay for my next meal or next fucking flight. i wish... i dunno what i wish for anymore.
i wished for a life of adventure, challenge, fun, love, responsibility..
in a literal sort of way i am getting what i wished for... but in a twisted kinda way, i forgot to consider the price i have to pay.
sigh.. there we have people really suffering and dying and not even knowing if they'd live through the next min... here i am sobbing about my shit. but.. i'm only human.. we are still allowed to feel shit about ourselves rite?
posted by ah_bu @ 12:20 AM
2 Comments:
At 6:20 PM ,
Anonymous said...
babeeee... awww *hugs*
we're allowed [and often thrown into without a choice] to have bad days but you can't wallow into it too long i suppose...
it's all part of being a responsible adult. the whole juggling of work/money/relationships/personal life/dogs & kids/ friends things that is...and there's no point fretting bout it too long since it's inevitable.
do something different over the weekend! whether it's reading a book or doing whatever it is you do with the pole or playing with the doggies in a park... do something for yourself that makes you happy and maybe, just maybe, things won't look so bad...
*hugs*
At 9:52 PM ,
ah_bu said...
thanks dear... unfortunately, my weekends are reserved for day trips that i have to bring people on while letting them get to know one another, and/or plain playing cupid, and/or going for family days to see how it's done, and/or site visitations.. see.. there goes this weekend.
then i'm back to work on monday.. planning for the same shit next weekend.
i miss u all lots!!
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