i'm home?

i said goodbye to my colleagues countless times coz i just had so many things to handover to them and the office is just next door... so why not, eh? had a farewell lunchie courtesy of the boss and i had to give a freaking speech. i honestly didn't know what to say to him... cept, thank you for everything i've learnt. (BLEAHHHH!!!) aiyah.. he's a nicer person when he's just a friend. this everyone in taipei, ex-employees, ex-colleagues agrees... so it's not just me. ah well...

they asked what i'd miss most about taipei... i didn't know what to say. the food? definately... the people? well, i'd say selectively, there will be people i will definately miss. the shopping? well, i only managed to really shop during my last week there so... nah.. being in taiwan for holiday is good, for work.. forget the luxuries and the clubbing.

as i said my goodbyes to the new friends i've made, i thanked God for adding more footprints in my life... and i know i've added some colour in theirs too. you can tell when the friendships are lifelong ones.

i said goodbye to my apartment, the one i helped picked out, and decorated. loved it... and realised there are so many more details of the apartment that i only discovered during my last 3days in taipei. realised how much of life i neglected while trying so hard to make ends meet and then coming home just to sleep.

i said goodbye to my girls knowing they'll join me in sg really soon and that miraculously, they will be out of quarantine by christmas!! things do work out sometimes... someway, somehow.

said goodbye to my baby and i know he was already missing me the entire day before i left. and i know how it feels... missing someone even though they are right beside you. even though he'll join me in 9 days... fuck man.. i'm so freeeking needy!! bleah!!

i got to the airport and as i sat in the waiting area and thereafter in my seat... i started to tear and fought the urge to cry as the reality of leaving taipei finally hit me. i know i haven't really stayed there for a loooong time... but i've grown to love certain things about that place that coming home actually makes me slightly nervous. flashes of when i was a crew and this lady who was sitting and quietly wiping tears from her eyes came back to me... i remembered asking if she was alright and she said ya.. she was just sad that she was leaving home.

i found myself doing exactly what she did... i dunno why i felt sad... am i leaving home or coming home? where exactly is home now?