Here's a name for God's humour... it's called Irony

Dear Blory...

Juz had a little conversation with Nicky over msn. We both hate the essay... more like... we both dun understand whatever the guy's trying to say. Anyway, that's not the point of my blog. Am trying to destress a little coz I've got my essay to complete and I honestly wanna try my very very very best to finish it by tomorrow, at least before I head off for Paris.

'Its the final countdown!~'

Anywayz, back to our conversation and pondering a little on my conversation with Sel in the cabby on the way back. Well... the guys seem pretty okay with Jean-luc.. but.. like I was telling sel, I can't and probably wun do anything irrational when I'm in paris. As horny as I am (haha), how to, when half the time I was out with him, I was thinking of louis.

Sel says he thinks and really believes that Louis has learnt something. I'm pretty sure I personally have. Nicky says he, as in Nicky himself, has learnt, and so has vina. So we all take something back from all that we've experienced. Isn't that what life is suppose to be about? Told nicky, when we're done with whatever, we look back and tell God.. "sooo... that's what you've been trying to tell me, or teach me or show me! Now I know..." and we move on to the next lesson in life.

I still hold on to the fact that I believe that this whole episode is actually the best thing that has happened to me and louis. Yes. This is because it has forced us to grow... forced us to realise... woke me from my honeymoon... back to reality.. look at things from such a different perspective... yet i still love him as much...

Hmmmm... but can I ever bring myself to trust him again? Or even to believe that he's no longer confused? Or worst... maybe he's still thinking of her and confused about us at this very moment. Ahh.. yes yes i know.. I can hear voices behind me telling me to "stop thinking, stop imaginating and stop wishing, and hoping, and thinkin, and prayin.." (trust me to think of a song at this time) Sighhh....

In the meantime, I really do hope christmas will be good, coz it's the last christmas we all will be having together before the guys embark on their scholarly paths... I will miss them so much... Thank god the girls, nicky, louis and ivan are still ard (that's if nicky doesn't get a job in japan~).

To the gang, because I'm on stupid standby on freaking christmas day, shall we have a christmas bbq at Pasir ris? U know, just in case I get called up, at least I've got sufficient time to head home while u guys carry on making merry?? Shall we shall we shall we?

Love bites, love bleeds
It's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies
It's no surprise
Love begs, love pleads
It's what I need

-Def Leppard