self indulgence

Seems like quite a couple of people have said this. It's suppose to be true.. no?

That the last person you call before you bored the plane is the person you care about most. As is the first person you call when you touch down.

I see my colleagues do that most of the time before and after a flight.

So... I board and unboard a plane as often as I take a cab. As often as I do that, I fight the urge not to use the phone coz that would only imply that I care. But as much as I hate to care, I wish there was someone I could call before and after a flight without feeling... vulnerable.

You only feel vulnerable when you let yourself be vulnerable and I hate this feeling. How not to be jaded and cynical when that's really the best way to protect yourself?

I'm missing a particular someone. Not because he means the world to me, but it's precisely the contrary, that there's no pressure and vulnerability when i'm with him coz I dun care as much.

Innit sad... ?