Lazy sunday
Lazy sunday afternoon it is. I've been asleep most of the mornings, as usual, but it's okay, this lifestyle prolly wun last too long anymore. I've kinda like... done my time and as much as I hate it, guess it's about time to move home. *soooooob* But I should lah.. i should... there are many more things I can do when I move back - like taking up piano lessons again, be around more so my sis and dad dun chew each others' heads off, help me mum... with i'm-not-too-sure-what-but-something. Hsework?? bleah..
I wish I had more choices though. It's almost like I dun have a choice. Move in with louis or move home. Since stupid landlord increased the rent, nicky doesn't wanna pay more rent and it's impossible for me to get two hsemates in a month and pay the additional rent. Easy for nicky to move in with louis but for me... i can.. but i can't. Too complicated. Wat if.. aiyah.. so many things. *SIGH* Or, I could get meself a smaller place and live alone. But what's the point in that. It's just gonna be moolah out every month for nothing since I'm not there half the time and the other half, I'm sleeping.
I haven't totally made up my mind yet, still hoping that some miracle might happen. Maybe I'll find a husband in 2 weeks?? *hur hur* but I'm looking at a 90/10 percent of me moving back lah... make that 95/05, or even 99/01. *SOOOB*
Anywayz, me dad and me sis haven't been on best of terms lately. Maybe it's at the rebellious age thing that all teens go through and so happens, my sis is a tougher nut to crack than me. I mean, I've done my fair share of stomping into my room (but never slammed the door), arguing with my parents (but never scolded them for doing what they did) and keeping quiet, cursing and swearing inside (but never ignored or failed to greet them when they came home from work). I dun really know what went wrong, whether my mum's really too nice to us, or is it because I've never really been hard on anyone such that I honestly dunno really know how to approach this whole subject. But seeing how sad my dad was when he told me what happened and how disappointed he is in the whole incident made me feel guilty as he prolly felt the same way too when I did silly things at 16.
Signs of growing up... maybe it's time for me to go back and play older counsellor to my sis (contrary to popular belief, I AM able to listen and give advice, in my younger days, church days to be exact, and when I'm sober) And well, if it takes my going home, back to being mummy's girl again to get my shit together and get my sis and dad's shit together, I guess it's not that bad eh.
For all you know, I may head back to church! Slow and steady... at least I can say I've been there, done that and it's time to grow up. Well, that's the.. positive side lah.
Still hoping for a miracle though..
I wish I had more choices though. It's almost like I dun have a choice. Move in with louis or move home. Since stupid landlord increased the rent, nicky doesn't wanna pay more rent and it's impossible for me to get two hsemates in a month and pay the additional rent. Easy for nicky to move in with louis but for me... i can.. but i can't. Too complicated. Wat if.. aiyah.. so many things. *SIGH* Or, I could get meself a smaller place and live alone. But what's the point in that. It's just gonna be moolah out every month for nothing since I'm not there half the time and the other half, I'm sleeping.
I haven't totally made up my mind yet, still hoping that some miracle might happen. Maybe I'll find a husband in 2 weeks?? *hur hur* but I'm looking at a 90/10 percent of me moving back lah... make that 95/05, or even 99/01. *SOOOB*
Anywayz, me dad and me sis haven't been on best of terms lately. Maybe it's at the rebellious age thing that all teens go through and so happens, my sis is a tougher nut to crack than me. I mean, I've done my fair share of stomping into my room (but never slammed the door), arguing with my parents (but never scolded them for doing what they did) and keeping quiet, cursing and swearing inside (but never ignored or failed to greet them when they came home from work). I dun really know what went wrong, whether my mum's really too nice to us, or is it because I've never really been hard on anyone such that I honestly dunno really know how to approach this whole subject. But seeing how sad my dad was when he told me what happened and how disappointed he is in the whole incident made me feel guilty as he prolly felt the same way too when I did silly things at 16.
Signs of growing up... maybe it's time for me to go back and play older counsellor to my sis (contrary to popular belief, I AM able to listen and give advice, in my younger days, church days to be exact, and when I'm sober) And well, if it takes my going home, back to being mummy's girl again to get my shit together and get my sis and dad's shit together, I guess it's not that bad eh.
For all you know, I may head back to church! Slow and steady... at least I can say I've been there, done that and it's time to grow up. Well, that's the.. positive side lah.
Still hoping for a miracle though..
posted by ah_bu @ 4:49 PM
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