Over beers, ciggies and a prayer

I met old church friend Shaun during my trip in Shanghai. One of those last min thing where I realise he's actually IN shanghai and msged him JUST before heading out for flight. Catching up with old friends, especially over beers and ciggies can be quite fun.. but catching up with church friend, that's a little trickier. Was quite funny though... conversation went like:

me: ey, I've got something to confess...
him: ... *bewildered* are you pregnant?!?~!
me: .................................. NO!~!

Geeeeez, why would he even THINK that!~?

Anywayz, we talked about going back to church or the thought of it. I mean, I guess it wouldn't be so difficult if I can be moderately assured they wun totally freak out if I told them I needed to take 5. And "hey! who wants to go for a beer??" after cell? Can't quite give up my current lifestyle, can I? But I could try... and 'by god's grace' I'll someday not feel like picking up my ciggie, or going out for a drink. But what are the odds of them not freaking out? I dare not test water.

Which brings me to another point. When I'm ready to stop, I WILL. Right?? It's not like I'm addicted or anything. I don't have to run off for a ciggie every 10 min, neither will my fingers tremble when I'm at home in Pasir ris or off on a 13 hrs flight. I dun do my utmost best to be the first one outside just so i can grab a bit of 'fresh air' before heading for the hotel. I DON'T. I do know when and where to smoke. I do know it's not the healtiest thing in the world. Hey, we do lotsa shit that harms our body too... So pleeeaseee... STOP TAKING MY CIGGIES AWAY FROM ME!!! I'm not a 4 yr old kid who forgets that I had a pack of ciggie as soon as it's outta sight. I'm not that dumb to not notice my ciggiecase go missing as soon as I turn the other side. GAWD... i'm no freakin child! Do you know how fuckin expensive it is to buy a pack of ciggies?? It doesn't help that instead of buying a pack only when my pack is emptied, I have to buy a fresh pack every time my ciggies go missing, and that's only after I've touched like.. HALF the freakin pack! Once, okay.. fine.. haha.. funny. Twice, okay, still not getting on my nerves... but hey, not EVERY single time we're out and I take out a stick. It's really NOT NOT NOT funny anymore. I know it's outta concern... but pleasseeee..... really not funny... *URGH*

Okay.. back to shanghai, I just needed to rant coz it's driving me crazy!! Anywayz, shaun said something and we both agreed... pretty reluctantly, that somehow, that still small voice is still somewhere buried, like, the seed has been sowed. We're just waiting. Ah well.. over confessions, I told him about my eternal crush only to realise the entire group of them actually have always tot we made the perfecto couple. Too bad we were young... hahaha... and shy... they were hoping maybe things might change when we grow up. Grew up we did, but awfully wrong directions lah. Closed in prayer. I squirmed in my seat when he asked if he could 'close' in prayer. I'm like.. ah! here? after beers and ciggies?? er... okay.. *cringe cringe* But it's still sweet and I really appreciated it. I did.

Alrighty... it's time I retire. Today's flight was a nightmare. Hopefully tomorrow's flight will be friendlier.