one sweet last day

tonight marks the last nite that my grandfather's body remains by our side. from the time i heard the news from my sister after touching down in frankfurt and leaving in 12 hours to catch the earliest flight home, from the time i stood by his side asking why couldn't he wait for another 8 days for me to come home, from the time we started the entire wake till tonight, we've all been busy. busy making sure guests get their drinks, nuts, money collected... busy making sure family members get sufficient rest and food... busy making sure everything is in working condition.

but even with the buzz around, one thing stood out everynight during service. the message of how we are never in control of our lives, how short and fragile it is, but how meaningful it can be when you know what you're living for, you know where you're heading to and you treasure everyone that God has put in your path.

a thought struck me tonight as i listened to the msg. the pastor recalled how my grandfather would pick himself up despite being in a wheelchair just to make sure he attends service every single sunday, how he would dress immaculately, confidentally and faithfully go to church week after week even though he's only known christ after my grandmother passed away. i realise that it was the belief that he will one day be reunited with his wife again in heaven and the love for her made him strong enough to praise God fervently believeing that He was the only way.

even at his deathbed, a coupla days before he passed on, he would, in his faintest whispers, sing praises to God. the last significant thing i managed to do was to hold his hand while he personally said a prayer, asking simply for comfort and a good nite's sleep.

told my cousin that even though we haven't always been around, we've all been given the opportunity to spend a little quality time as he hopped from home to home staying for a month each. an entire lifetime and it was only duing the last weeks at my place that i got to spend an extended period of time with him, kiss him, hold his hand and whisper “公公，去睡覺了。“

i love him and i love all my other grandparents that have gone on long before him. each and everyone have been significant and have been a big huge part of what i've become. i was afraid i wouldn't feel this way about this particular grandpa at first coz we haven't been significantly close or anything but i realise it's never too late to touch and be touched by someone.

i'll always remember that nite when u held my hands and whispered that prayer.