The leap of faith
Spent the night at Nicky's place with the gang to celebrate his 23rd birthday... i must say it again, 23rd birthday! HA! Welcome to the club brudder... *HIAKZ* Anywayz, went to his place after my Jakarta flight, had nice yummy dinner at Hoover Restaurant before the guys went and bought.. erm... i think 10 durians? Gorged ourselves till we almost exploded... at least, I almost exploded. Ha.. then watched Shutter.. geee... haven't watch this kinda scary show since The Ring... it did feel kinda... empty in a way when there was no one beside for me to grab onto when the scary bits were on... but anyway, I had my knees to hug and fingers to cover my eyes.. i'm a brave gal.. muahaha..
Anyway....... Get over it.. get over it... get over it!
Just had a pretty long conversation with Roger on msn. About Church, about God... about taking that step of faith and let God change me. I must admit, I've changed alot over the past coupla years, picked up more than a coupla bad habits. I know the gang and all are pretty sure we'll all go to hell... I know I was pretty convinced or more like.. self-denial... more importantly, I was telling him that I dunno if I wanna let go of what I have now. But I also know that deep down inside, my heart's never really been hardened and like what I told Rog, I was probably more stifled.
Maybe it's a sign... with everyone telling me to move on and let go. Going back to church will really mean to let go. I may not be the best testimony... I may fall time and again. But I'm thinking, if I can forgive Lou despite the many times things have happened... how many more times will God forgive me? And if it hurts so much to love someone... how much more does it hurt God when I don't reciprocrate his love? And I know I might just start taking Him for granted... but after some deliberation.. we figured that maybe it's because I'm so serious about Him that it's gotta either be perfect or nothing.
I guess ultimately, it's like a relationship. You put too much pressure in making it perfect, it will just backfire coz the pressure's too great. Maybe all we need is just a great leap of faith in the right direction and not look back. Maybe instead of telling Louis, I should be telling God that I wanna try again and make it work this time. Hmmm
Anyway....... Get over it.. get over it... get over it!
Just had a pretty long conversation with Roger on msn. About Church, about God... about taking that step of faith and let God change me. I must admit, I've changed alot over the past coupla years, picked up more than a coupla bad habits. I know the gang and all are pretty sure we'll all go to hell... I know I was pretty convinced or more like.. self-denial... more importantly, I was telling him that I dunno if I wanna let go of what I have now. But I also know that deep down inside, my heart's never really been hardened and like what I told Rog, I was probably more stifled.
Maybe it's a sign... with everyone telling me to move on and let go. Going back to church will really mean to let go. I may not be the best testimony... I may fall time and again. But I'm thinking, if I can forgive Lou despite the many times things have happened... how many more times will God forgive me? And if it hurts so much to love someone... how much more does it hurt God when I don't reciprocrate his love? And I know I might just start taking Him for granted... but after some deliberation.. we figured that maybe it's because I'm so serious about Him that it's gotta either be perfect or nothing.
I guess ultimately, it's like a relationship. You put too much pressure in making it perfect, it will just backfire coz the pressure's too great. Maybe all we need is just a great leap of faith in the right direction and not look back. Maybe instead of telling Louis, I should be telling God that I wanna try again and make it work this time. Hmmm
posted by ah_bu @ 4:17 AM
1 Comments:
At 12:25 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Just heard a wonderful quote from the movie "The Little Black Book"
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home