me time always gets me thinking...

suddenly i'm back on this blogging frenzy, think it's the whole what-on-earth-am-i-doing-with-my-life question popping up over and over again.

i read my older blogs and see where life's journey has taken me, i read my not-so-old blogs and find myself repeating over and over again that i'm happy, just wishing life was more than just work, money and keeping up. i read my recent blogs and realise, i'm beginning to be someone i never wanted to be. ie, self absorbed, bitchy, impatient and unkind.

*shudders*

i look back on days when i was able to listen, feel, and give sound advice. that was me... happy to be the one people turn to when shit hits the fan. that was me even before i started to fly. when i truly loved my job, my life and the people around me.

how i wish to have that all back. to be in love with my job, my life, and the people around me.

i want to be a true friend that people can turn to again and talk to me about themselves and not a friend that's just there for the sake of being there. i wanna talk about things that matter on a personal level, and not frivolous things that fade away with time.

i never had a great interest for anything else other than people and the connection i have with them but in this day and age, everyone's just busy chasing "dreams". i, unfortunately, have become one of them.

wasn't my greatest happiness in life to know that i've made a difference in someone's life? i sure am now, by making people's lives miserable. i detest myself for that but i've unwittingly let myself morph into a person who's judgemental and argumentative. i snap at the slightest mistakes and the next minute, i have to be all smiley and PRish just to get the job done. wasn't i all about patience???

i cringe at how fake i've become.

what i wanna be, doesn't require money to be achieved. all it requires is a little more love, a little more time, a little more patience and a whole lot of understanding who i am, my place in this world and i can start making that little difference.

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
You Gotta Get It Right, While You Got The Time
'Cause When You Close Your Heart
You Can't Close Your . . .Your Mind!

- MJ says it best...

na na na na na na na.....

wedding woes...

yes i know it's a work day so what the hell am i doing, blogging, when i should be working? well.. i dunno.. i just have to let it out...

so the wedding's about 6 months away and i have it all planned out, in my head, of course... just waiting for the little steps to slowly take place.

having alot of headaches with the venue and i honestly dunno if i should laugh or cry... snippet of conversations with them are as follows:

me: hi, i'll like to enquire about wedding packages and rental charges for chijmes. i want to do it at the lawn.

chijmes: oh, we don't normally do weddings so no packages for the lawn. maybe you can check with chijmes hall as they have more wedding packages there.

me: oh! i can check with chijmes hall and still use the lawn for my wedding?

chijmes: no, have to use the hall if you are taking their package, but the lawn can be used for cocktail receptions.

me: i don't want to use the hall, i only want the lawn.

chijmes: but chijmes hall has the packages

me: but if i call chijmes hall, i have to use the hall rite? i don't want the hall, i want the lawn.

chijmes: oh, but we don't normally do weddings...

me: do you do events there? i've seen events on the lawn.

chijmes: yes, we've done events... but not weddings coz the hall does more of it, so better to check with the hall..

me:.... (trying not to scream) ... ya, but i want the lawn, not the hall... and it's just like any event. rite???????

(there's more.. i'm too tired to type it all out)

.......................................................................................................................................................................

me: hi, yes you were suppose to get back to me about a month ago on the catering package

carnivore: yes, i'm so sorry... was waiting for chijmes to revert.

me: yes, we've spoken to them, we'll use the walkway as well, i just need a quote from you and need to know how many people i can fit so i can plan my guestlist.

carnivore: okay... (gives me details of the package). you can actually also get another caterer to do the food and have them book the carving station from us. because.. it can be quite costly, and coz our kitchen is actually pretty far, it's near the carpark of chijmes, so if it rains, the food might be late.

me: (speechless)

......................................................................................................................................................................

what's wrong with customer service these days!!!~?!!~?

hope the trip to tpe for the shoot and favour shopping goes well... if not, it's no wonder why people become bridezillas...