Here comes the bride, all dress in white...

I'm getting married!!

*i wish*

I woke up this morning feeling really excited about the rest of my day. Woke up almost feeling like I had a new purpose in life. Woke up not with the usual dreariness that I've been waking up to for the last coupla weeks.

No. I'm not getting married. If I am, I'll wake up feeling happy.

Anywayz, the reason why I'm waking up feeling all of the above, is as of last nite, I'm officially back on wedding planning, AGAIN!!! Met up with a friend (actually, my batchboy's girlfriend), she mentioned they were getting married and me, being me, obviously immediately offered my kind services and she was just more than happy to have me on board. So yepsie!! and so, I graduated from boyfriend's friend, to wedding planner and by the end of the night, I was made bridesmaid. Yep, no, didn't hear wrongly. I AM gonna be one of her bridesmaids cum wedding planner.

Okay, so over the weekend, or while i'm on leave this past week, my secondary school friend actually also smsed me for help coz her wedding's in Jan. Feeling pretty damn good about it coz in the short telephone conversation with her, I managed to settle her wedding venue (chijmes) and calm her nerves.

It feels all so familiar again, talking about venues, timelines, invitation cards, wedding favours, music, catering.. blah blah.. honestly, it makes me feel alive again. I must admit I'm a lil rusty coz I just spent the entire day typing out a wedding timeline for my friend. Oh, it's all free.. I ain't charging anything. I'm just doing what I've always wanted to do! *grinz*

So I've officially got 3 weddings next year. Two of which I'm kinda planning, two of which I'm gonna be part of the entourage. Dammit!! That means there's only space for me to play jie mei for ONE more wedding before I jinx my entire life. Coz to the bantang ones, once you become part of the party for more than 3 times, u will be left on the shelf!!! Die! Coz my own sisters ain't getting married yet and I will skin them alive if I ain't involved in their wedding. So let's see...reckon i'll prolly be left on the shelf for a couple lifetimes eh?

Anywayz, I'm looking forward to this whole wedding shit. Helps me get back on track too!! Keeps me occupied so I dun drink or club so much... I'm hoping to cut down, tone down and up a lil, get other activities... like planning weddings and pole dancing... muahaha... settle down, get married... have kids, get a house, get a dog and a cat, go for my honeymoon in alaska, yadayada.. opps, was dreaming out loud...

Time to get ready for another party.. bday party tonight and baby shower tomorrow... baby shower (!!!~!!~).. definate signs of aging. *sighh*

My story-telling attempt

They stand at the top of one of the two watchposts, at the southern most part of the hemisphere. Apparently it's almost a couple of metres away from the equator but they are not sure. Looking out to sea and taking in the seabreeze, he held her tight, as if afraid that the wind might blow her away - not that the wind was THAT strong.

He asks "Are you okay? you look like something's bothering you"

Smiling back, she replies "Why do you ask? Do i not look okay to you?"

In all sweetness and tenderness, he says "Well, I can sense that you are bothered by something. Why don't you tell me about it? Maybe I can help?"

She takes in a deep breath and lets out a sigh. This wasn't the usual sigh of contentment she gives. This was a sigh or sorrow and heartache.

"Is it because of the moments when I'm quiet and stoning?"

No, I can see it intermittenly, when you're just quiet, and not saying anything"

Taking in another deep breath, she lets out yet another soft sigh before replying "It's something to do with relationships."

"Will it help if I just go away?"

Actually, she thought, it probably will help coz it will then give her one less person to fall in love with, one less person to consider, one less person... but she replied with a certain sense of determination "No."

This time, maybe just this time, she might have just found someone who can make the pain go away.

Another call comes in, another guy comes on the line and says in the most cheery tone that he was pissed with someone at work.

Feeling a little confused at his obvious non-angry tone, she asked "But you sure don't sound angry to me!?"

"Well, that's only because at least I'm talking to you right now." Another reply that broke her heart coz she knew he meant it.

But, they are not the one she loves.

on mc (again), another meme & my wkend in a nutshell

So from the time i took mc last post, till today, i ....

- planned a fabulous hen night complete with exotic dancers, drinks, food, more champagne, beautiful room, and a stripping session.

- reported sick for the next day's flight and thought of excuses to tell the docs.

- went bowling followed by beer.

- went for viv's ROM after waking up with a splitting headache, bodyache which led to a temperature.

- went home, saw doc who said i've got high fever (39degrees), gastric and infected throat.

- didn't need any excuses to get myself my much wanted 2 days mc.... and thereafter another 4 days of leave.

i'm gonna be sooo bored, nicky!! can u go with me to the bodyworks place thingy so i can enquire about the pole thingy?? oh yes, i've decided... pole dancing!!

Oh, and because i reckon i'll be home these coupla days...

If you comment on this post:

1. i’ll respond with something random about you
2. i’ll challenge you to try something
3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you
4. i’ll tell you something i like about you
5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you
8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

On mc... fucking boring!!

Pardon me coz i'm like rotting away at home...

**********
Instructions: Before you read the post, name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. List those names down in any order, before answering the questions.
**********

here are my 20!

1. Louis
2. Gracia
3. Annnah
4. Adrian
5. Nicky
6. Selwyn
7. Char
8. Shirley
9. Aly
10. Val
11. Pris
12. Derrikq
13. Raymond
14. Shereen
15. Deanna
16. Sharon
17. Brandon
18. Ivan
19. Elissa
20. Normie

Questions:1. How did you meet number 14?
Hmmm... in a hotel room in... frankfurt if i remember correctly, then we went london, then realised we have lots more connections. ha! small world...

2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
Fwah... then i wun have been able to experience what loving someone meant... awww *shy* and develop a hell lot of patience.

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
HA!~ I would... i dunno man.. all hell breaks loose, cat-fight ensues and i'll have a freakin good laugh!

4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
Er... one's pretty gay, the other's pretty straight, i doubt it...

5. Describe no.3.
only meee... can make the darkness bright... only meee... blah blah.. tall, sporty, crappy, noisy, duh.. very much like me actually, blessing in disguise we never went same poly or same church. Total chaos!!!

6. Do you think No.8 is attractive?
Yep she is... ultra "teh" too!

7. Tell me something about No.7.
my part time bf's gf turned one of my galpals!! Love her to bits and I love the way she's bitchy just to protect her friends. Softy at heart, housewife-to-be!!

8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
No man... other than.. er.. they speak mandarin??

9. What is no.18's favorite pastime?
doing his gf's assignment, or wowing, or smoking, or...... okay... poetry!

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
haha... I'll tell her, er... "i love u too.. but i prefer men... but i still love u!!" aww lor lor lor..

11. What language does 15 speak?
predominantly english, I believe she HAS to know malayu... prolly Singlish.

12. How old is 16 now?
23 going on 24!!

13. When was the last time u talked to 13?
erm... if u consider all types of communication, sms was maybe 5 min ago??

14. Who's 2's favorite singer?
yikes... she's got so many... er er... she's so gonna kill me... actually, she's got too many to mention, so i shan't even start... her range is quite wide.

15. Would you date number 4?
That'll be like... incest man..

16. What's 10's last name?
the one we ALWAYS make fun of... val.. HOWWWWE????

17. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19?
sure... we'd tell people we are sisters and people actually believed us.

18. What schools did 3 go to?
hah.. taonan pri (issit??), st hildas sec, s'pore poly, newcastle!! i'm good eh..

19. Where does 6 live?
currently in sydney, newtown (rite??) if not, bedok south ave 1!

20. What's your favorite thing about number 5?
errr... he let me buang his car.. okok.. i'm kidding. he's my bestest guy friend! of course i love everything... cept him being anal about cleanliness, not letting me drive anymore, always calling me fat... etc etc etc..

and now i meme: everyone on the above list that has a blog!!

Almost painfully familiar

Something I thought was really quite sweet... it's a little long and can get a lil draggy... but.. it's sweet lah... oh, mind the english too, it isn't exactly shakespearean.

"On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal carstopped in front of our one-roomflat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid. I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream oflove. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayedmy wife.. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promisedtodo it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorced, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out.Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry.. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast.When Iwoke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one months time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, HeNing, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudlyand thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, shehasto face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as strangers. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy isholdingmummyin his arms. His words brought me a sense ofpain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to thedoor, Iwalked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate womancarefully for a long time. I found she was not young anymore.There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her.

Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She picked her dresses while I waited to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitableone.Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out is now an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.

I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came backto our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped into the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

"I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold
Need you, feed you, even let u hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've got too much to drink
I could be the one, growing old with you...
I wanna grow old with you....."

I asked for it.. but..

THANK YOU...

For cleaning me up when I'm all drunk and pukey
For holding me still when I can't stand up straight
For breaking my fall by being there to catch me
For giving me warm water to make that pain go away
For covering me with a blanket coz I was cold
For hugging me when u know I just needed someone at that moment
For surprising me with gifts with no rhyme or reason just to make me smile
For bearing with my shit when I'm not quite myself
For waiting up just to make sure I got home safe
For putting up with my unbeliveably wierd sense of stubborness
For being so patient even though I asked for most of the shit I had to go through...

Hokay... am feeling like shit now, went to the toilet a grand total of 8 times since last nite, had a terrible fever this morning and now I'm just counting down the moments before I see toilet action again. Methinks I should see a doc soon. But raffles medical ain't open and I dun wanna pay. Was hoping to maybe get 2 days mc but on hindsight, if I do, my other flights might get disrupted, and my hen-night plans may be screwed... so much for holding out and seeing how much more sick I can get. *sigh*

Travel plans to be considered:

1) This coming june trip to Penang or langkawi
2) Late september trip to Marrakesh, Morocco with adrian and iv. OR
3) Late september trip to Edinburgh then swing to Belfast with adrian and iv (which btw, only meee, if you're reading this, would u be interested???)
4) Sometime next year trip to the Golden Triangle, border of Thailand, Myanmar and Laos.
5) Sometime next year trip to the base camp of Mt Everest (as suggested by nicky)

Hmmm... i shall go retire now. May the pain subside.

Where are you when I need you?~?

The problem with choices...

... is that we have to take a lot longer and think alot harder before making an informed decision. While the sense of achievement comes when we finally make a decision, the process of making one... drives me nuts.

Which insurance coverage should I get? Er... what credit card should I apply for? Where to eat? Where to drink? Who to go out with? What should I do after 5 yrs? Where should I go for holiday? What kinda house should I buy? Should I move out? With who? But what if... how about... then??

The freakin number of questions times the number of options we have and it's crazy! We spend our whole lives making decisions and living with it. That or we, prolly just me, come up with even more options just so that I can confuse myself even more. What seems like options are actually just an excuse to delay making a proper decision just in case we have to live with the consequences of whatever wrong or right decision we make. It has come to the extend that even a "yes or no" question, "to go or not" and I have to take a nap, hybernate and then make the decision.

Anywayz, shall digress a lil. Amritsar was freaking hot but the tours were interesting. Went to the Golden Temple which was literally a golden temple surrounded by water. Aiyah.. pictures when they are uploaded. And we went to the border of pakistan and india. There were two grandstands, one on each side. India's was colourful and the crowd was huge. whereas Pakistan's was.. er... mostly white and maybe 1/4 the crowd. Again, pictures.. later. heh..

I wanna go for a holiay!!! but where? aiyah, shit.. gotta think of options and make decisions again.

Getting clearer by the day

Took a 1.5 hr bus-ride today from Balastier back to Pasir ris against the advice of nicky, who said it's gonna take freakin long, and louis, who said i'm gonna need to pee and I wun be able to get a toilet. I must say.. while both of them were right coz my arse hurt like crazy by the time i got off the bus and I REALLY needed to pee badly, I kinda enjoyed myself. It's not everyday that I get such ME-time. Usually it's rushing off to somewhere, taking a cab and whizzing past everything such that I dun get to see much around or just having to text this person, call that other person back and before I know it, I have to fish out my wallet to pay. So today was good.. and I managed to answer nicky's question, after a few days and some thought.

Am in the midst of organising my friend's hen-nite. My very first proper hen-nite!! Yay!! I'm super-duper ultra excited about it coz... we're gonna be checking into scarlet hotel that very afternoon, laze around with champagne, head for dinner.. and the highlight... (well, I better not say it in case ms bride-to-be decides to kaypoh and read this.) But I'll update though it's probably pretty obvious by now la.

And I was having a conversation with a friend over coffee and we discussed the difference and definations between "going out", "dating", and "seeing" someone.

Here are the results...

Going out: two people going out (duh) with at least a basic interest in each other. eg, i can't be say i'm going out with.. say.. nicky (sorry dude, but you're the best example i can find) but i can say i'm going out with... some guy i met that i kinda dun mind getting to know better. Also means i can be going out with a few people, sorta like testing market, that kinda thing.

Dating: two people who are going out with each other pretty regularly with slightly more than just basic interest but not mutually exclusive. However you cannot be dating as many people as you are 'going out' (see above) with.

Seeing: two people who are going out with each other regularly with definate mutual interest but are not mutually exclusive, yet. This category only has space for not more than 2 but preferably only 1 candidate because you're almost, usually, more or less gonna be exclusive. Just making sure... that kinda thing.

Phew! Finally I got this sorted out. Next time I get confused, this is good to refer to. Oh! and I heard Robbie's coming to town end of the year... everybody say "YAYYYY!~!~!!~!~~!!!~" ;D

grumble grumble..

Tsk... what's the most telling sign of how inactive someone has become?

my body actually ached (a lil) after a vigorous round of.....

.................. bowling!!

hah... shit man... how pathetic can i get!?!~