Growing up sucks

Not that it's a big revelation but yah, i have to agree with nicky that growing up sucks. So many paths to choose, things to do and decisions to make. Decisions, decisions, decisions... Sometimes I wish I didn't have to make any of those and just live with wat I have. But... desire is what keeps the soul alive, isn't it?

So we keep desiring to have a better life. Doesn't have to necessarily be in terms of money though. A better life could be...

... getting away from the stressful lifestyle that we're living.
... being with somebody you love without anything hindering you.
... not having regrets with whatever decision you make.

I guess just being generally happy. Okay, I guess money does play a part because you need money to get away from the stressful lifestyle... hmm... that's about it? Hahah.. so much for money. Now i'm blabbering...

Can one move on and still hold on? Hm... does sound kinda oxymoronic to me in a way. But in another sense, it's probably like you know you'll always have a place for that someone in your heart, just that you know things will never be the same and along comes another guy or girl who sweeps you off your feet, and you're happy... and you live your lives seperate from each other, wondering maybe on certain nites how or what the other person is doing. BUT you're still happy with the one you're with now, no regrets... and you really ARE happy... but just wondering.. you know? Then.. are u REALLY happy?

I dunno man, I always thought you can truly move on if you've completely let go... if not, there's always gonna be a slight chance that you'll never be truly happy coz .. you start.. wondering.. then there'll always be a part of you that will be living in a dream that will never come to pass.

If I succeed in detaching myself from everything that this last relationship has left me with, does it mean that I've successfully let go and moved on? I hardly think so actually... Hmmm.... I think I should fight fire with fire... erm... u know, like putting salt on ur ulcer and even though it hurts like hell, it heals faster.. like drinking yucky tasting chinese medicine but they actually cure faster... like rubbing a bruise so hard till it turns all blue and black but it spreads the clots and heals faster...

I think i should meet melissa... it will be wierd but at least meeting her will give me a chance to know her and maybe heal faster and move on faster... of course it'll hurt, but that's the general idea, no?