how do u know?

~ if you're with someone for the sake of being with or because you really love the person?

~ if you're with someone because you just so used to the person that you can't imagine another?

~ if you're really in love or just loving the idea of falling in love?

~ if you're really with THE one?

~ if you're really letting go of THE one?

~ if there's really a THE one for everyone?

~ if you are really happy or you could be happier?

~ if you're really ready to give it all up?

~ if you're really willing to face the consequences?

~ if you're not just addicted to self inflicted pain and drama?

~ if there's really a fairytale happily ever after?

how the fuck will you ever know?

you never know unless you do something about it, yes? no? eh?

I dunno lah.

just to lighten things abit

So I touched down, got to my room, called soi, met them an hour later at the hotel lobby not knowing where to go. Which, in hindsight, was actually a good thing coz we ended up doing everything.
After dinner, we went to a little coffee place to chat some time away, since our next destination will only be more happening after 10. Jiaqi's friend, yen jie came to join us shortly and off we headed to this pub called Er Yu Ya (goose and duck), where soi's drummer friend was performing. According to them, he's one of the best drummers in china at the moment! Pretty impressive i must say... unfortunately, the dice game stole his limelight.

Next up was Vics, hip hop r&b club. Not too bad... pretty nice poshy but a little too many ang mos. Looks like attica... not big on it lah... so we moved on to Qian Gui!

How can i go to beijing and not to ktv ya? Most fun of the lot because we drank and sang ourselves silly. Soi and I perfected Robbie and Nicole's Something Stupid while JiaQi and I are gonna perfect Celine and Barbara's Tell Him. On a sidenote, Soi can do a freaking good moonwalk to Billie Jean.

Jia Qi, Me and Soi

And I'll be going back 1st week of dec for shopping, more performance and huge buffet! Wooot!! Maybe I ought to seriously consider the proposal. Me move to Beijing for a month and get free piano lessons from Qi and drum lessons from Soi. In return I train Qi to drink like a camel... i'll also throw in the 'clean up their office and studio bit' as payment.

Food for thought... maybe i just really need to leave everything and everyone.

Smile for the world to see

wow... when was the last time u suddenly felt your heart take a huge leap to your throat and remained stuck there, hanging around at your chest area, almost as if it's trying to keep your lungs from doing it's job?

and you're honestly becoming increasingly breathless as u feel that lump inching its way up and at the same time growing larger, filling up whatever space there is in between that and ur lungs?

and everything suddenly becomes a blur and silence becomes deafening?

I just did.

maybe it's all for the better. everything happens for a reason so i should smile and the world will smile with me...

will post pix of soi, jiaqi and me in our highly eventful yearly one night in beijing later... too emo to do shit..

Would you rather

~ loving and losing someone or not love at all?

~ give or take?

~ be the one that cares and love or be cared for and loved?

~ be in love with someone who loves someone else or being with someone while loving someone else?

~ hurt or get hurt?

~ be happily loved by or painfully loving someone?

~ security with not as much passion or passion with a little risk?

~ screwing it up or getting screwed

*hmm*

I NEED A DRINK!

The countdown begins

I'm getting a little nervous as the day draws near. Shit!! 13 more days and I dun even have a confirmed outfit!!

What if i slide down??

What if i can't get up!??

What if...

AHHHH!~!~!

This woman's work

Heard this some time back, by Maxwell, then again in nicky's ipod by Kate Bush. I prefer Kate's version. Anywayz, one of those nice and depressing songs that's actually not that new.

Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man, now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said, that I never said.
All the things we should've done, that we never did.
All the things I should've given, but I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things we should've said, that were never said.
All the things we should've done, that we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given, but I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.

I think I'm just as selfish as anyone else or even more. Now I understand why it seemed easier then than now.

Pictures!

Slightly late but in anycase, here's the pics taken at vina's bday gathering at (after much thought and discussion and a little mishap here and there) winebar!!

Pictures courtesy of only me since I was the only one with enough decency to bring a freaking camera.
Didn't post the super raunchy ones ... For more pics, let's organise a post-party picture-viewing-with-more-partying session.

Staples center where a coupla colleagues and myself got to watch a live Lakers match!! Not that I'm a basketball fan but heck, the atmosphere and all were not to be missed so even though we were all tired from a long hard day of shopping.. we HAD to go.

After some searching and bargaining, we managed to get these 3 tix at 100usd! The ones selling in the booths were at 200 and above usd per tix so we got quite a bargain. Managed to get two additional free tix and after touting right outside the ticket booths, we sold them for 30usd.

That's about it fer now!

Being romanced

Girls need to be romanced once in a while. Twice or more would be nice but sometimes in this time and age where everybody's just too busy with earning that extra buck, once is good eoungh.

Romancing someone isn't about telling her that you wanna marry her and have children with her within the honeymoon period. (Maybe some gals like it but the rest normally get a little freaked out. At least, if you say it within the honeymoon period.) It's very sweet that things go smoothly and you go into that couple routine mode without any hitches. But more often than not, that usually just means that all the smelly business starts coming out and there's hardly any more effort in romancing the gal.

And all gals like to be romanced.

So guys... to keep the passion alive, please do continue romancing the gal even if you've been together for a century.

But then again, sometimes it might get a little too much so... lay off the romance when it has to be laid off.

Dun ask me when though.. that's the problem with gals.. the men dun get it.. sometimes we ourselves dun either.

random, just feeling random

hmm... i just took some pills and it's makin' me feel a little whoosy. I dunno if it's the pills or issit just me feeling shagged out after work. Well, I just got home after an overnight quickie and maybe that's why I'm whobbly...

Or maybe it's the pills.

In anycase... this should be good. I sleep, I wake up. I recover. That be the grand plan.

Why am I talking in spurts??

Fuck man.. i gotta get new ic, new drivers license, new debit and atm card done coz I lost my freaken purse somewhere. And nope.. contrary to popular belief.. I WAS NOT DRUNK.

I think the pills are doin it's job REAL good. I feel my body losing control. It's like.. suddenly there isn't any strength or sensation in whatever i'm doing... for eg, typing this silly blog which doesn't quite seem to make sense?

I'm going into a state of nua-ness *silly-smug-crinkling-up-face-grin* Or I could just be tired.

Er.. does flu medication cause gastric juices to go crazy?? Coz I feel mine starting a riot.

Ahh!! I'm talking to myself?! shit!~

under the weather

Some people get attached and the whole world congradulates them. Some, after maybe 6 months, we go like.. "you've been attached?? and for how long?? what?!~" Yet for some others we go.... "hoRight!~ Finally!!"

Some people get attached and life thereafter is nothing but bliss. Life goes on for some others and for some others... you're still thinking... "what did i get myself into?!~"

I wonder which one am I under.

Anywayz, biggie welcome back to char and aly... it'll take a while to get back to the momentum since you guys have been away for so long.. try to be positive about things though or you just wun be happy anywhere yea??

Would've posted pics... meant to post pics but something's wrong with the silly site. So till then...

I shall go nurse myself to health now... blardy head is pounding and nose is leaking.

*sniff sniff*