A "huh" moment

How the hell did I manage to have so much rubbish squeezed into that little ol'room of mine? Geez!~ I shouldn't have started on packing coz I can't see light at the end of the tunnel now... ha. Anywayz, I guess this IS a small price to pay for wanting to move outta my comfort zone. This is my first step towards greater responsibility and independence so embrace it, I will.

Yes, mummy and daddy have agreed to let me go and believe you me, this is the only thing I have on my mind right now. Of coz occassionally I wish for a knight in shiny armour who I can share this excitement with... but I'm fine, for now... house first, man later... kekeke!~

I'm feeling empowered.. Maybe my life will take a turn for the unexpected better. it will... IT WILL!~!~ *EVIL LAUGHTER*

Okay...back to reality... back to packing my room... that was a moment of destress, courtesy of Diana Tan Ah Bu... *crappy smile*

Sudden surge of emotion

Am having a mish mash of feelings now... dun exactly know how to put my finger to it.

Am feeling very excited coz we just placed the goodwill deposit for our new apartment in Normanton Park. It's at blk 3, right in front of the swimming pool and just behind the minimart. I love the location coz it's one of the first few blks too so one doesn't have to walk all the way in. There's also a taxi pick-up stand right at the foot of our blk. It's gonna be furnished with sofa and dining table, along with all 3 beds provided and cupboards and fridge and washing machine. These are pretty standard but guess what, we can choose our own colours for the walls too!! Now just gotta wait for nicky to return from his trip to Nepal and for myself to get back from Zurich before we get into the nitty gritty details of moving stuff in and around. Whoopeee!! And aly, we're gonna be neighbors!!

Am feeling very nervous coz I haven't exactly got my parent's approval to move. I could name all the logical reasons why I wanna do so and frankly speaking, there's really nothing much they can say to stop me. All I hope is that they'll give me their blessings and I can move with a peaceful heart. I promise to make bigger effort to go home for dinners and better yet, get my dad to drive me to work so I can get father-daughter time with him along the way... NOT that i want the free ride coz I actually do intend to pay... it just seems alittle wierd to be paying one's own dad but I'm sure we can work something out.

Am feeling very disturbed coz one of my friend's gf just committed suicide and succeeded. Shit... I wonder how he's feeling now. Would love to ask him and talk to him about it but the better part of me says not to ask coz it'll just remind him of the sadness and he'd have to replay the scene over and over again. I think I'd die if something like that happened to someone I loved. I sometimes wonder, though, how people will react if I did something like that. But if I succeed, I probably will never know.

Am feeling very bewildered by how things are turning out with the guys, people ain't getting along as well as they use to and I just can't remember when all this animosity begin. It didn't seem too sudden neither did it seem very gradual. Are we all too focused on our own problems and believes that we neglected the fact that being friends is really all about taking and accepting the goods and bads, rights and wrongs of a person? That doesn't mean turning a blind eye if ur buddy did something wrong... but I believe once one has said his or her peace, whatever has been said and done should be put behind.

Am feeling very curious about a coupla dreams I've been having recently. Namely, about this particular guy who I have never met, or seen in any pictures whatsoever, I think. We were really chummy in my dream, almost like someone I'm in love with.... but I have no idea who he is, if he's someone I've made up in my dream or if he actually exists. I know... he's my dreamlover... haha... pun totally intended.. sheesh...

Am feeling very melacholic about how I'm feeling and especially after listening to Robbie William's Misunderstood. It soothes me, yet it makes me feel alot. About what exactly? I have no idea... Ahhh! I should stop blabbering and go sleep...

One night in Beijing

Met up with Soichiro and Kay on my most recent trip to beijing and boy was i super excited. Haven't seen soi since coupla yrs back and Kay, have been wanting to meet her since I heard about her... alas.. never had the chance to so made sure I met her this time round. Keke... It was all good! Met them ard 7pm and we went for dinner at this hot wok place, the food was fantastic and we were famished so we ate and ordered and ate till we basically couldn't finish the rest of it. Sigh... overestimated ourselves. I was pretty surprised that we could actually smoke in restaurants, those indoor kinds... unlike Singapore.. bleah...

after some discussion on where to go and how to plan our time, we decided to head back to their place to rest a bit first before heading to this karaoke place called Qian Gui aka Cashbox. Met Kay's cousin, best friend and sis... basically, the entire household. Napped at their place for a short while coz I went out immediately after dropping my stuff off at the hotel so I was sorta exhausted.

Woke up at 12.30am and after trying to drag myself up for half an hour, it was time for Karaoke! Singing with 2 professionals .... no joke.. but it was a blast! Kekeke.... met Kay's sister's friends too coz they went for some singing session too. Ooohhh.... her sister's got these cute twin brothers who looked so yummylicious! Wonder how old are they... haha! I can't wait to go back to Beijing!~

Left Qian Gui at 5 plus in the morning and in the freezing cold, we headed to Tiananmen Square to catch the flag raising ceremony. Flag raising was scheduled at 6.21am and we got there ard 5.40am... so in the freezing cold we waited, took pictures, shivered, waited, and waited with Kay asking for the time at every 2 min intervals. Haha... I guess it was a historical moment for them too coz afterall, after living in Beijing for 10 and 4 yrs respectively, it was also their first time watching the ceremony... Keke... life is about experiencing as much as you can experience~~

By the time I got back to the hotel, it was 7ish. Was hating the fact that I had to go but loving every single min that passed. Soichiro and I talked about stuff too and it was really nice to catch up over beer and cheers-ing with every drink till there was hardly anything left for us to 'cheers' to. Oh and he was also pretty amazed at how well Kay and I clicked~! haha!~ *cheers to that!*

My gut feeling was right... had a feeling this was gonna be a good trip... load was light when I went up, the trip itself was unforgetable and the load back, even though it was full, I actually had a friend on board, as in passenger so it was kinda nice.... Settled some stuff in Sg, got my roster for next month (no syd and lon... YET) . All will be good and fine soon.... :P

Itsy bitsy minor downer's just.... DAMN... i think i caught a cold after standing in the square at 0 degrees. *sniff sniff coff coff sneeze*

I think I just...

... broke someone's heart unintentionally...
...wanna be alone for now...
...dun wanna be answerable to anyone except myself...
...need a new experience to look forward to...
...need a new goal to work on...
...need to change my current lazy lifestyle...

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up
- robbie williams

Back from KL

Yippee! Just got back from KL today and it was a really good trip. Anyways, this impromptu trip got on a pretty shaky start in the first place coz nicky only confirmed his attendance like during the week itself. Sheesh... thanks to our efficiency, normie and I went down to grab the bus tix that very day. Thankfully there were decent seats, and we didn't buy return tix hoping to grab cheaper ones from KL itself... got screwed by nicky for doing that.. damn.. where's the sense of adventure, dude... A day before the trip, normie calls to say we dun have a room.. muahaha... so we decided to do a walk-in and left for KL without a return bus ticket AND a hotel room. The adventure gets more fun!~ muahaha...

Okay, so first day Elissa, Normie and I shopped while we waited for nicky's arrival that evening. Shopped. Eat. Shopped. Bought DIY facial and we spent the early part of the nite giving each other facials! More like elissa gave me and normie the facial while we rested our weary legs. Nicky arrives. We bathe, change, dress up and head to Jalan Sultan Ismail.. think... mohd sultan.

The first club we went to was called Atmosphere. It was huge... which made it more empty than it should've been. So first stop was boring. The 4 of us couldn't wait to finish our drink and get outta the place. People were wierd. One cute guy though.. haha... that's IT! Our next stop was zouk but because we already busted our budget paying $40 ringgit for the first place, we went to the loft which is something like phuture. The crowd was much wilder and the music was much much nicer. We actually enjoyed ourselves! Me, elissa and normie goofed around with the music... while dearest nickyboy hooked up with a malaysian dudette! ;p

The next day was shopping, again, while waiting for nickyboy to finish his lunch date with ms meiling (the malaysian dudette). Afterwhich, we went to a mosque where elissa and I were made to wear the overall sarong type thingy complete with tudong. It sure was an experience, I'm so glad I got to do that. Took pics at the mosque, went back to hotel, went for dinner, much needed foot and back massage, then back to hotel.

Phew, last day, which is today... we woke up early for breakfast at the local stalls just around the corner but because we were too early for shops, went back to hotel and watched spongebob squarepants and another spy cartoon. "Use your imagination" *draws shape of rainbow with palms* Something we learn from stupid cartoon. Dun ask. HA! Went for last min shopping and still managed to spend money. Shit.. i think I overspent on this trip. The rest of the month's dedicated to savings. This shall be my saving month. *crosses fingers*

On the trip back, we watched motocycle diaries, a spanish show abt these two guys in the medical field who embarked on a 6 month long trip to latin America. Very inspiring. I think... I'm hoping... I would like to learn Spanish and once I'm done with SIA, take off and do what they did. 6 months. Let's see... if i take 5 yrs to finish contract and get the moolah, I'll be 28... as discussed with Elissa, either I ... put something on hold, or I sacrifice something else... BUT you never know... so I'll just take things as they come, day by day, one step at a time. So many things that I wanna do, actually, more like so many places I wanna go. Maybe I'll just end up wandering the streets of wherever for the rest of my life. The excitement gets me everytime i think about it, yet it sounds so unstable...

Now... do I really want that? I dunno... we never know... we'll never know... when will we ever know? Not knowing... *hmmm* isn't that excitement in it's own right?

Going to kl!~ yey!

First day of my annual leave... my team are happily enjoying themselves on their way to tokyo and la.. while i'm stuck here.. blogging.. argh... Hokay, that's about all I've gotta whine about!~ keke!~

Went for a haircut today and ended up sorta perming my hair. Been like a coupla years since I last snipped my long curls off... Dunno why I suddenly did it. Was telling my hairdresser, just do whatever you want as long as i can still tie my hair and i DUN look too old... haha... then came a suggestion for a perm and i was like.. "okay!" geez... too impromptu for my own good. I should stop doing things on impulse.. ha!

Just got back from supper... i DIDN'T eat.. diet.. diet.. I should start going back to the gym.. blardy hell, wasting my money...

Anywayz, had a nice yummy dinner at holland v with the gang to celebrate normie's birthday. Which once again emphasised the pace at which we are aging, which is too fast for comfort. Man, i miss those days when we go for silly drinks and stayovers... or canoeing at sentosa (if people actually remember). Okay.. i miss hearing the guys suggest lanning and try to sneak their way around the girlfriends.. okay.. in some wierd way, i miss lanning... even though i know it's them giving me chance by not killing me at first instance. I miss aly, I miss char, I miss adrian, I miss ivan...

We're going to KL!~ yey! So exciting... I wonder if we're gonna club both nights. I hope to actually... how often do u get to do that anyway? I'll try not to get sloshed. Something I haven't done in a while especially now that I'm able to fall asleep without putting up a battle in my head.

Keke.. okok... i'm blabbering now.. time to go have a conversation with my man.. hahah... i mean it... a CONVERSATION... HAHAHA....