Need help darlings.. need help...

Yippee!~ Check out my new blog skin!~~

Erm.. pardon the "my humps" part if it keeps ringing in ur ears non-stop.... still figuring out a way to put another mtv in.

Oh, and I'm also having a lil problems with the 'comment' section. I can't see no comment anymore. Is it even possible to leave comments?? I tried to do the cut and paste with blog id and all dat but doens't work.

Maybe it's just me... can somebody help???

On being happy

So I went for my colleague's birthday bash last nite right after I touched down from KL. Man was I tired but then again, birthdays are causes for celebration, no? Well, headed down to balaclava *as usual* where the same bunch of people are there *as usual* where I see both alicia and ivy half in the land of whoosiness *as usual* but whatever... I'm just gonna chill, have a glass of nice wine and enjoy whoever's company.

The bunch then decided to head over to some wierd bengish place called Liquid-something. And since I haven't been there before + I'm not working the following day + the nite was still young + they asked + the company was great = I went along. (Ok.. i confess... i was kinda attracted to the guy who asked me to go. So cheap!!! haiz...) Anyways, it was one of those karaoke cum pool cum pub place.

After a coupla beers and belting out karaoke songs and listening to the bunch sing along to just about anything that comes on the screen, my gal fren comes to me and we talk. And she wasn't happy. And we look over to the bday gal.. and she didn't look happy, and you see the rest of the bunch, some singing away, some drinking away, some smooching away, *slow-mo effect while camera focuses on the ones who are sad and background is blurred* Basically, we were talking about being happy, or the lack of happiness.

I mean, *flashback* it took me back to that night a coupla nights ago when we were at wala. It just seems that in the midst of a huge group having fun, a kind of surreal sadness is bound to arise. Like... how can anybody actually be so happy, how can anyone actually be so carefree? Because amidst the *hugs* and *i-love-yous* and *whatnots*, you're reminded that the important thing is really not where you are, or what you're doing, or how much you can drink or dance your life away. It's really all about human connection, the people you're with and how they play an important part in making you who you are. And you start being reminded of what you're missing, or.. the ones you lost, the connection you took so long to establish, gone or someone you wanna connect with but he or she's just somewhere out there, and you're wondering... yah, but where??? And happiness. What, who, where we derive happiness from. Withing ourselves? someone special? friends? family? Or a greater Being. When and where can we ever find a place where EVERYBODY is happy and genuinely happy?

Maybe that's why I couldn't help it but teared. (I couldn't cry for fear of lack of composure in a place like wala). Maybe that's why gracia hugged me so tightly and cried (notice.. hugging so no one else can see the lack of composure. hah). Maybe that's why my galfriend couldn't help but wet her eyes while we were talking (even though she said she refused to cry in front of people). Maybe that's why some people just cry as and when. We, - I for that matter, are/am happy, yet sad, yet contented, yet wishing for more...

I dunno. It was a night at walas, that I saw repeat itself with an entirely different set of people in the Liquid-something place that reminds me that no matter how fucked up our lives seem to be, or how dramatic the group dynamics is, or how dysfunctional you are with one another, we are really not alone even if we think we are.

If life wasn't so contradictory, maybe it'll be easier to be happy.

Now... **GROUP HUUUUGGGGG**.... awwwww

Recap of the week...

So this is the end of my 10 days of nuaing, catching up with frens, tennis frenzy (stupid rain), self grooming, drinking, and running all sorts of errands. Even though i didn't exactly go overseas, which I initially wanted to, I figured that's okay since once I start work, I'll be outta the country anyway, so it's good to just spend time in not-so-sunny singapore. I guess... haha.... self consolation.

Well Well, ended my last day of freedom with a good skip, a good tan and a good swim and I'm feeling all charged up for work tonight!~ Time to tackle sydney passengers!~ Yippie..............

Anywayz, last nite was kinda melancholic. If you've watched "The Notebook" you'll know wat i mean. It is honestly the kind of feeling I wanna be in when I'm in love. -And a guy like dat to sweep me off my feet. And watching that show makes me feel like it's almost impossible to ever feel dat way again. You think?

We all got pretty depressed after the show, and I was kinda recovering from the melancholy before Louis called to tell me he dreamt of my grandmama giving money to either my dad or granddaddy and told him to take care of me... that was it... cried like crazy.. again... I dunno what's wrong with me. Feeling ultra emo again these days. Maybe it's the alcohol.. or lack of it. HA!

Oh watever... am gonna get ready for flight... maybe i just need to start work. Too much free time is not too good either.

Another one of them quiz thingz..

Woke up at 10.15am with nicky's dutiful wake up call. Methinks... no.. meknows he was having alot of fun dragging me outta bed like wat those army officers do... *wake up diana... WAKE UP*

Anywayz, waiting for sel and aly to come round for another game of tennis. Bought groceries, had breakfast, folded and ironed my clothes. Well accomplished, I am!~

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges. If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story. You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses. A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofkisserareyouquiz/">What Kind of Kisser Are You?

This quiz thing is quite eerily accurate... *moderately impressed*

Chirpy at 4am

It's 4am and here I am helping louis burn his CDs while he takes a break from studying for 1st aid. Hmm.. with all the things we actually had/ have to learn, from make up, to fire fighting, to 1st aid to childbirth, to security officers, to nannies, to toilet cleaners, to chefs, to PR executives... yadayada.. why do I sometimes get the feeling that people dun think much of our job? It ain't all about waitressing, ya know..

Anywayz, while waiting for the CDs to burn... me went to do some of the quizzies too!~

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Finally...

I cut my hair after close to a year. Was beginning to feel like tarzan's gf sheena with that long wild hair...

Sheeeeet man, it's already the 15th. 3 more days to the end of my leave and what have I achieved? Hmm.. almost nothing.

FUCK MAN.. where on earth have I been???

RAIN... love it or hate it?

Just got back from a yummy supper at river valley with nicky, char and aly... oh, and the gathering we had at dempsey sure goes to show that things will almost never change between us.

*ouch, i think my face is a lil hot now coz i was rubbing deep heat unto nicky and i think i got some on my face... argh... *

Anyways, the rain's been giving me pretty mixed feelings. Practical side of me goes like this...

"tamade... i can't wash and dry my clothes coz the fucking rain isn't drying the guys's clothes fast enough and therefore, i can't hang my clothes. I'm freaking running out of stuff to wear!~ Argh... oh, and I wanted to play tennis this evening.. but.. i couldn't coz it was raining!~~ (oh, and i didn't book the court.. but that's not the point, I could've gone swimming, but no...) And we had to keep moving seats today at macafe coz the rain was getting in and making us wet. "

Romantic side of me goes like this...

"aww.. I love the rain. The weather's so beautiful. Nice and cooling and all I feel like doing is wearing a huge sweater or getting all snuggled up in my comforter. Oh... wun it be really really sweet too if I just had someone to cuddle me to sleep tonight? I wish I had someone to cuddle... but nevermind, snuggling up with Mustasky and a good book is good enough fer me... but in anycase, the rain smells so nice, the air feels so clean and the drizzle that falls on my face just feels so refreshing, like having a cold shower after a hot day out."

Dun you just love the rain?? Actually on hindsight, even though it screwed up my bbq plans, I think i still love the rain more than hate it. Don't you?

Back to being practical, it blardy hell better not rain tomorrow morning coz I AM GONNA PLAY TENNIS!~!~ Oh... bought a skipping rope today too. I really am bent on getting shaped up.

*Sings* I feel good...(tanananananana)... I know that I sould now.. (tanananananana) I feel good...(tanananananana)... I know that I would now.. (tanananananana) So good... so good.. lalalalala!~

a lil happy, a lil crazy

Despite yesterday's stupid blardy fucking rain, the party still went on grrreaat.. all thanks to dearest nicky, johan, normie and gracia who helped with cooking all the bbq food. We still have lamb kababs and some leftover chicken though... hmm... maybe a welcome back party for the gang in sydney?? heehee...

Biggie thank you to the above again and louis for doin all the grocery shopping and food marinating. Wat would I have done without you!~ *muakz muakz muakz*

And of course to ALLLLL who came last nite despite the dumbass rain (as you can see, i'm still quite sore about the rain), *HUGZ & MUAKZ & HUGZ & MUAKZ!~*

Anywayz, I love all my pressies... Got a DKNY watch from my colleagues, a zodiac book from another set of colleagues, beautiful pair of earrings from normie and elissa, a voucher for apple shop from sharon and pris, a sunflower from kai, a towel from yen... and.. and... A FUCKING IPOD NANO!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ Nuff said... kekek..

whoever who took my ipod mini.. THANK YOU.. wahahaha...

So I'm 24. Time to get myself together and live life to the fullest. Time to take better care of myself emotionally, physically and mentally. This was suppose to be the age I wanted to get married. Ha... let's see how that goes... My bday resolution, as I told louis, is to exercise more, and I'm dead serious about tennis. Anyway, I'm on leave all the way till the 18th, so tat leaves me with alot of me time... family time, I hope, more me time... and friends time.. haha... not to mention the return of the sydney peeps!~

ladidadida... I'm a lil coocoo today... Maybe it's the joy of having all my friends over last nite. Maybe it's the weather... Maybe it's me realising that I'm growing up and happy being who I am... Maybe it's because I'm on such a looong break with so much time on my hands... Maybe it's because there've been so many blessings in disguise within this short period of time in 2006 that it's gonna be my slogan for the yr.

Alrighty.. am gonna continue with my bookie... I love you guysssss!~!~

*MUUAKKKZZZ!~*

why does it always rain on me..

The blardy rain's been pouring since I touched down at 0720hrs. I tot it'll stop but.. nooo... it's just got progressively heavier!!~ dumb blardy fucking rain.

my bbq starts in about 2 hours time.

ARGH...

a list of wants, needs and wishes...

okay annnah, this is for you (and whoever's doing any research of relevance)... just so people dun think i'm so bu yao lian.. but..

I want...

... a freaking new ipod. I think i lost mine during new yr celebration. Whoever took it.. shame on you.. I hope i'm just being paranoid and dat someday my ipod will walk back into my life.

... tennis racket? Ha.. well, I'm trying to get some healthy lifestyle going and it should be a good start.

... a hunk for me to play with... I mean, to play TENNIS with.. kekekekeke...

... a small slingbag? Maybe u know, something i that can store my ciggies, my phone, my lipgloss and my card in when i dance so i can stop depositing stuff into everyone else's pockets and still look good?

... books!

... anything lah.. nothing also okay.. 'no need presents, just ur pressence' (auntie yee,2005) will suffice.

... if all else fails, u know wat will definately do the trick.. and i'm not talking dildos here. Something we ALL can enjoy... starts with an A... has 7 letters... ends with l.. enough clues here?

... a bf would be the bestest..

... actually i just want people to come and have a good time.

... happiness, peace and prosperity and LOVE to all!!!

ok.. short of being really cheesy and lame, what i said above, i do mean it.. i mean the good time and love and happiness part.. so yah... and why do i have the right to write the above and expect it??

COZ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!~!!~!~!~

A brand new me to a brand new yr... I hope..

Just came back from the 2nd wedding dinner I've attended in 2006. And I'm just wondering who'll be next on the list? (burning qns no. 1) and when's it gonna be my turn... (burning qns no. 2) heeehee..

Well well, I think I'm happy. I've got my friends who've been with me through hell and back. I've got my family who've loved me regardless of whatever I did, whether it disappointed them or not. I've got my colleagues who've become more than just another face in the plane. I've got my really old friends who've been there and will always be there, just a phonecall away. It's never really easy to be contented with what you have. But once we are able to live with it and say, "hey, that was really nice" and truly appreciate something as little as taking your hand or lending a shoulder, or even meeting up over coffee despite busy schedules... or even a msg in the middle of the day, I guess that's when you're at peace with the world, and most importantly, yourself.

I dun think I need anyone to make me feel more worthy than I already am. I know what I want, who I am, who I love. And all I want is to be happy. I dun wanna think so much and get all bogged down by details and wat nots coz really, nobody owes you your own happiness. If I feel happy dancing the nite away, I'll dance the nite away. If I feel happy reading a book, I'll read a book. If I feel happy drinking with great company, that's what I'll do. If I'm happy being charmed off my feet, I'll let myself fall. I may do crazier, stupider, smarter or whateveritmaybe, things this year. I just resolve to make sure it will be a responsible decision.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring. I just hope it'll be a happier day than the day before. And if it's not, it'll just be a day I learn something new and precious. Scarred for live we all may be. Baggages and skeletons we have tons to carry. But hey! I guess dats what makes us more human, and it adds a fine line to the beautiful wrinkles we'll have when we age.

In addition to my previous resolutions, I resolve to age gracefully. ;P

Photo recap of 2005, some of it..

Started 2006 with multiple... happy ocassions and things should and can hopefully definately only go up. But before I forget, HAPPY 2006 to all deserving ones!!

Here's a lil pic recap of what's been going on in 2005...

the babes, mag, shirley, gracia and yours truly at club normanton's halloween party

Me and annnah... me bestest only meeeee.... again at Halloween party '05

Meeting me two favourite peeps from down under... sel and aly... one of those sydney trips where i fall asleep just about anywhere and everywhere... as long as my arse is on something.

On the way to a safari trip in Johannesburg where we stayed overnight at some bed and breakfast lodge. Really beautiful place with tons and tons of mosquitoes... *bbzzbzzzbzzzz*

Test tube shots. A must-have at any club normanton event. I should invest in a funnel. Pouring drinks in from cups usually result in spillage.. no shit..

Well I'm suppose to have more pictures but they dun seem to be there... haha... alrightey. Fine. Be that way. Hmph!!!

And now, it's time to go get ready for yet another wedding. Already my 2nd in 2006! Doubt I'll be drinking much... hopefully nothing today coz I've reached my quota last nite and the nite before. And according to resolution no... i can't remember but one of it, I'm only allowed to drink on alternate days. So... today I detox.

And I further resolve to save my first 10k by march. ;P